Stuck in a rut..

August was a rough month. June flew by with an absolutely amazing trip to Swan Lake, Montana for my brother's wedding. For five days we enjoyed sweater weather, big sky country, boat rides on the lake, campfires, s'mores, late nights and the most magical wedding and reception in which I have ever experienced as Pat & Ali shared their vows and started their lives together.


Patrick and his beautiful wife, Ali!
 

1,000 origami swans hand-folded by Ali for the reception.

 

July brought a 2-week long escape to Chicago. We stayed at the house in which I grew up in and simply played. All day. I had no chores, no cleaning, cooking or keeping up with the house. I was able to run alone whenever I wanted while my parents kept the kids thoroughly entertained. Adara played happily with dolls and my other childhood toys for hours on end while I chatted with my parents and soaked up as much parenting advice on how to best raise Cesia -- my challenging, strong-willed middle child. We enjoyed all the events and activities a summer in Chicago has to offer.

 

Sharing a classic Rainbow Cone at Taste of Chicago!

Grant Park, Chicago. Eating, playing and being happy.

 

Catching fireflies with Grandma!

 

Then August rolled in. We were back home, in the heat (100+ degrees and still going), the girls had another full month off school and there was not much to fill our calendar. Though I try my best not to over-schedule my children, I do like to keep busy. Without anything on the agenda, I grow bored and stale. Alan has had a particularly stressful month as well. Lab frustrations, work travels, and a very long string of sleepless nights has made for a long August. I must admit he does his best not to bring the negative energy home with him at the end of the day, but still it is hard. Arriving home around the girls' bedtime, after I've asked them for the 1000th time to "Please, pick your PJ's and go potty before bath." After 13 hrs of pleading, begging and playing other such games all day long, I'm fried. Cooked and done for the day. After they're asleep I unload my day. Stressed, I feel like the competition for "Who's day was the hardest?" is ready to roar.

 

 Let me say that I am a competitive person at heart. I was born competitive, or maybe it arose out of survival being the younger sister by just 19 months to a naturally talented, high-achieving (and incredible) elder. Sometimes I feel the need to make it be known that being a stay at home mom is not all fun and games. The days can be long and frustrating as you're trying your very best to raise three healthy, well-balanced, good kids. And so I pass my stresses on to Alan.. which does not lead to anything productive and I know is simply unfair. August dragged on, I got the most terrible virus I've ever experienced (more painfully retching than my 2nd two labors), which then led to a milk drought, which led me to take Mother's Milk Plus drops leading then to total engorgement and my 5th round of mastitis with Isaac. Back on antibiotics, feeling sorry for myself, exhausted and utterly worn out, Alan left for a 5 day work trip in Europe.

 

We have missed him every second of every day. During these 5 days away, however, something magical happened. There was no one to listen to me sulk. My other mama friends didn't need to hear it -- we're all in the same boat. We all have challenges, long days, sleepless nights, early mornings. And so I stopped. I finally came to the realization that I could either sit there and feel completely sorry for myself, by myself or I could take charge and change my mind. On this eve of the final day of August, I am out of the rut. We woke up at 5am (as Cesia has done for the past three months) and we got baking - made the most deliciously vegan Goldenberry pancakes, got the girls to school 10 minutes early and packed up the bags and car to join our fun-spirited, adventure-loving friends at the beach this afternoon to put a happy end to a long August.

 

 

Ready to jump right in to September!