I run to be a better mother...

On the eve of my 28th birthday, I went for a rare solo run on the trails. For me, running has always been about meditation, release, reflection and this one was no different in that matter. Some thoughts on the trail that night:

1. I have now been running for more years than I have not been running. I officially began running at age 14, when my older sister joined her HS cross country team and in typical little-sister fashion, I had to copy her. Bored and slightly jaded, as most 14 year olds, I decided, "What else do I have to do at 3:30pm on a weekday afternoon in the summer?" So I followed her to HS XC summer running three days a week and I was hooked. I will never forget that my first timed mile was 7:11 - not crazy fast, but fast enough to get me noticed. I had never been noticed for much before and attention felt good.

2. Even if your pitbull "is very friendly," please don't let him chase me! Yes, I am afraid of dogs. If I see a dog, I will stop running, even if I'm attempting a PR. Sometimes I don't stop for redlights, I don't stop when my child is screaming that she needs me to take her wrapper, RIGHT NOW, because it's making her hands too sticky, but I do stop if I see a loose dog. I don't like dogs chasing me. I don't think most people do. So please put your dog on a leash or call him back promptly rather than shouting ahead to random runner (i.e., me), "Oh, don't worry, he's friendly!"

3. I run to be a better mother. It's that simple. I'm a stay at home mother of three children. Ten years ago, I wasn't sure I would ever even have children. Five years ago, I imagined myself happily working long hours in a Neuroscience lab at UCLA, married to a wonderful husband and spending any and all free time riding our bikes together. Then came Adara. Adara is my first born, my love, who came along four years ago and changed me more than anyone whom had ever come before her. She made me a Mama, and for that I will be forever in debt. I have not "worked" a single day since her birth. I did finish my M.S. degree in Integrative Biology and Physiology when she was about 16 months old and my mother came to help out briefly, but even then I wrote my entire thesis during her naps and didn't miss a thing. Surprise #2 was Cesia, born just 19 months after Adara and my constant challenge. Spunky, full-spirited, LOUD (and we like quiet), hilarious, intense, fun, but crazy little Cesia who is 2 and will fight to the death that she "will be 2 forever!" Surprise #3 (yes, my husband and I are apparently very fertile beings) and the most shocking and best thing to ever happen to us - Isaac. Isaac just turned 7 months, is a complete Mama's boy, my Little Prince, loves and is loved by all. Raising three kids under three is a bit insane. I need to keep my sanity and running is where that happens. Running is my rock, my identity, the one piece of myself that I have not lost, have not let go of in 14 years. My life has changed drastically - I am now a stay at home mom (I never thought that would happen, EVER), I serve on my daughters' Preschool board, I live in suburbia, I am a Sunday School teacher (don't worry, I promise not to preach), I cook, clean, cook, clean, count to ten, bribe when necessary, read Dora books 50x/day, repeat, ALL DAY. But in the meantime, I run. I run to be a better mother, to have patience with my kids, to meditate, reflect, release, let go, parent with presence, to be a model of a healthy active lifestyle to my kids, to show them I am strong, women are strong, Mama's are strong. No, I do not sleep through the night. No, I do not have free time. Yes, there are a million things I should be doing at any given moment, but when I'm on the trail with my kids in tow (triple stroller is where it's at!), I know there is no other place in the world I was meant to be.

Adara (4), Isaac (7 mo), Cesia (2.5) in our new ride!