LA Running Mama: Simplifying this life

Life has been crazy lately. Hectic, rushed, jam-packed full of activities and jobs and work and volunteering and broken appliances and messes and the list goes on. Through it all I have managed to run, because I need to run. I may not write, I may not clean the house, I may not make it to the grocery store, and I may run out of toilet paper again this afternoon because we still have not made it to the store. But I run.

Yesterday afternoon I loaded all three kids into the triple stroller, braved the 90+ degree heatwave we are sweating through in Sunny Southern California (though I'm not complaining - it really is quite beautiful and I'd take it over snow nearly any day) and had yet another transformative mind-changing adventure with the kid. In those 90 minutes and between games of I-Spy and Guess that Fruit, I came to the clear realization that I need to simplify. Sometimes amidst all the stress, challenges and frustrations, the answer really is as simple as that: simplify.

Like every other good mother, I want to the best for my children. I strive to give them the most memorable amazing experiences and a childhood they will look back on with wonder and gratitude. A childhood they strive to mimic for their own children. My mother gave us that. She raised us through heartache and suffering, with my father losing his sight just months before she would give birth to her first child (my older sister) and no money to put food on the table. My parents had nothing, yet they had everything. We were never made to feel less, we were hugged and loved and taken on adventures: to the grocery store, to the local catholic church, to the neighborhood ghetto playground where we had our first home. My dad was held up, he was robbed, a blind man taking public transportation through dangerous Chicago streets. My mom was harassed, on a daily basis I am sure, while out alone on these same dirty streets with her 19 month old and newborn daughter (myself). My parents had stresses. They had rough months and long years. Growing up in a childhood like that, I am blessed to possess the one character trait I long to pass on to my own three children: Tenacity.

We work hard. We don't give up when the going gets tough, because the going is always going to be tough. There is always going to be something that stresses you out, something that pushes your buttons or overwhelms you, but what good do we get in stopping? What good comes out of giving up the fight? Many thought my mom was crazy for staying with a newlywed blind husband. "You have only been married less than a year, you can start a whole new life for yourself." She never chose the easy way out. She was tenacious. And my father, who was forced to re-learn nearly everything, to read, to write, to walk and get around with a cane, do you think he took the easy way out? He used that opportunity to go back to school and not just anywhere, but to the University of Chicago, and earn a degree in Infant Mental Health and become a licensed psychotherapist.

And so people call me crazy when they see me pushing 150+ lbs up steep mountain trails and narrow neighborhood streets. I don't see that as crazy. I see that as another word: Tenacious. If I had let the week's stresses get to me and gave in, lying on the couch eating chocolates with three whiny kids at my feet, I would be crazy. More than that, I would have missed out on the clarity that was brought to me through yesterday's run. In those 90 minutes of thought, I decided to send Adara to our local public school, because it is good enough and she will thrive being part of her own community and it will simplify our lives. I decided to stay on the preschool board for next year but only with the promise to myself and my good friend/Chair that we will simplify. We will choose a few primary goals for the year and hold ourselves to them, rather than trying to tackle everything and being left breathless and worse, defeated. I decided to spend more time playing with my kids, taking pictures, because I love taking pictures and re-living the stories they contain. I will spend more time at the ocean because the ocean calms me and is good for the soul. I will choose my words more carefully and practice mindful awareness because our thoughts are our actions, and our words are the way in which we are perceived in this world, like it or not. I will choose my words more carefully and speak with kindness. I will read a book when I feel like it and skip the dishes at night. I will enjoy this life because man it flies right by. I will hug my children more and remind them they are loved and more important than getting "just this one email sent out." And finally I will be easier on myself and accept that life can be simple and still wonderful and that I am no less of a mom for sending my kid to the local public school. Thanks Mom and Dad, for keeping life simple and teaching me the important stuff. My favorite childhood memories were those spent at the dirty little park and the neighborhood grocery store with my mom. We were together and loved and that was all that mattered.. and still does.