Toilet Paper Emergency (Plan)

Lesson #1: When kids are in the plan, expect plans to go awry.
Lesson #2: The more you try to plan, the less likely plans will go as expected.
Lesson #3: Kids are tricksters.

I have learned and re-learned Lesson #1 a million times over, yet I still forget it. Lesson #2 also alludes me. Yesterday was one of those days where I had this mental plan in my head -- a list of to-do items and a somewhat-flexible time schedule in which to complete it. Item #1 on our list was Buy Toilet Paper! Before having kids, such an item will take you 10 minutes total to complete. With kids, though, this can become your entire day. We missed our weekly playgroup yesterday to re-stock our supply of toilet paper. No joke.

You see, our daily timeline largely revolves around little boy's naps. Adara never naps anymore and if Cesia sleeps mid-day it is always in the stroller during an afternoon run. Isaac either naps in bed or the stroller, but if it is in the former he can slumber peacefully for 2-3 hours these days. This means 2-3 hours where I can get stuff done around the house and/or play with the girls. If he sleeps in the stroller (or car) he rarely transfers to bed and he can be easily fooled into thinking that 5 minutes of shut-eye was his nap.. until 5pm rolls around of course and little boy can't keep his eyes open at the dinner table. Last night his head nearly hit the pile of veggies.

So, our day revolves around Isaac's nap schedule. (Yes, I am thankful that we can be so flexible most days to let the baby determine our day.) The problem, though, is that Isaac doesn't have a schedule. He wakes anywhere between 5am to 7:30am, naps about 2 hrs after wake time and the duration of that nap can be anywhere between 30 minutes to 3 hrs. We never know. Babies don't give you a heads up - "Hey Mom, I'm going to snooze for 2.5 hours today. See you later!" Mostly, we just wait. We play, we sticker (a new verb Adara created), we create, we clean, until Isaac's head pops up on the monitor and he stands peering over the crib waiting to be released from his cell. Our house is tiny and we have to keep quiet, which usually means we have to stay outside during his nap otherwise we just wake him. (Er, Cesia just wakes him... she still doesn't have much concept of keeping quiet.) Thus, we can't actually get any work done during his nap. When he wakes the adventure begins, the rush and hustle and bustle of trying to get every.single.thing.done before he needs to sleep again in 2-3 hrs. And his meals usually take about 1 hr as he now insists on feeding himself and I sit there watching with mixed emotions as my littlest one exerts his own independence. Now we are down to 1 hr, a long to-do list and three kids who take a good 20 minutes to load into the car. How I took those grocery shopping trips fore granted pre-kids.

Yesterday was the "Toilet Paper Emergency." As the girls were making their final bathroom trips before bed Monday night I realized that we were down to about 1/16th a roll of toilet paper. 1/16th of a roll is approximately 20 squares. We have 4 people in this house who use toilet paper. Rations went out. I had never been so fortunate to have 1 baby who only needs wipes and a bulk supply of wipes just in case. I signed a breath of frustration, having just made trips to Trader Joe's and Target on Sunday so that we could avoid the whole 1 mama, 3 kid grocery trip mid-week. I rarely plan ahead like that, so I was doubly annoyed with myself for missing the fact that we were out of toilet paper. How did I miss that fact? Ughh..

So, fast forward through all the drama and arguing over shoes and clothes and jackets and the whole "event" of loading into the mini-van. And Cesia having to buckle her own car seat despite the fact that she really can't... We make it to Whole Foods, the store I ultimately decided upon for our toilet paper purchase since we are also in need of yogurt, vitamins and some organic produce (I suppose I hadn't really planned ahead that well after all). No close parking spots, oh well. We make it into the store alive, Isaac dangling like a nearly fumbled football from my left arm and the girls each tripping once on our walk into the store after insisting on wearing 2-size-too-big rain boots (though it wasn't raining).

Apparently everyone else in the valley was also out of toilet paper or other necessary items, as I had NEVER seen the store that busy, except maybe on Thanksgiving morning 2 years ago when we forgot to shop beforehand. And now I am starving, Isaac is grumpy and hungry because he hasn't eaten in over 3 hours, was too distracted by his sisters to nurse after his nap and I didn't have time to feed him before making it to the store because by now we really needed the freaking T.P. Oh, and the girls were also hungry and Cesia getting tired and feistier by the minute. So we throw everything within sight into the cart without ever making a complete stop in the aisles, check out and decide to sit down to eat a few to-go items STAT, before Mama's blood sugar really plummets. Things get ugly when that happens. It's crowded, but we find one little table and 1 open high chair and cram in, make a gigantic mess, clean up that mess as much as possible and run out to our car (with only 1 trip in route this time), unpack the groceries, put the baby to sleep, breathe a sigh of relief that at least we now have toilet paper.

Then I hear Cesia shout, "Mama I went pee!"
"Ok, I'll unwrap the toilet paper! One second!" I reply.
"I already have some. It's under my sink," the squeaky voice replies from the bathroom.
"No, remember we didn't have any, Cesia."
"No, it's under my sink," she insists again.
I come upstairs to find her pulling a full pack, 8-rolls of that blessed white paper out from under her sink.
"What?!" I breathe, as our entire afternoon just revolved around making to the store to replenish our missing supply.
"I took it from your bathroom and put it in mine the last night," Cesia replies matter-of-factly.
Then, I laughed, and re-learned Lesson #3: Kids are tricksters.

Sometimes all you can do is laugh. And run. Isaac is waking now from an awesome 2.5 hr morning nap, the girls are at school and my heel is feeling pretty darn good so off in the triple we'll go to bring them on home!