Weekends with Kids

Weekends with kids are very different from weekends pre-kids. No partying, no sleeping in, no "Off the clock, see you Monday!" When you are a stay at home mom (or dad), there is little difference between say, a Tuesday, and a Saturday. And if you're a dad who works Monday-Friday, well you just pick up your second job as full-time DAD on Saturdays and Sundays. Weekends no longer mean "breaks." That's because kids never quite get the memo that it's Saturday morning and they are allowed to sleep in or take the day off. We're lucky if we hear the first creaks of tiny tip-toes down the wood hallway or first babbles from a certain little boy's room after 5am. There are many mornings that Cesia is still up before 5:00, and if she decides to sleep in then Isaac picks up the morning shift. He's selfless like that. I swear kids plan these things. It doesn't help that sunrise is after 6:00. We have many dark, early mornings here. But we try to make the best of them. And on those days when we just aren't quite ready to start the day, we are human, and we do turn on Dora and sleep on the couch cuddled up beside our alert toddlers.

Party on, dude! (Cesia's morning hair)

When I was a new mother four years ago and just had Adara, I booked our weekends full. All week I anxiously awaited Alan's extra help and courage to get me out the door and into the world. As I mentioned before, she was a colicky baby. The kind that screamed all day, no matter what we did. It was embarrassing, I thought, to take her out in public. Everyone had their opinions. Everyone else seemed to know much better than her own mother, what exactly was her problem. "Oh, she must be cold. You need to dress her warmer," said the old lady in Target. "That's what you get for taking her out at naptime" said the middle-aged guy in Trader Joe's. I always just smiled back, too exhausted and frustrated to do anything more. The truth was that she screamed everywhere. Looking back I wish I had the confidence to know that it wasn't my fault, she wasn't screaming because I wasn't a good mother, but instead I let those comments stir in my head and prevent me from making the next trek out.

Four years later, I don't care what the random person down aisle #5 thinks about my 2 year old screaming repeatedly that she wants to eat "something chocolatEY RIGHT NOW!" or my four year old crying in the Target check-out because she really, really, really wants the cheap plastic princess We get out now. I try to get all our errands, shopping, dry-cleaning, car-washing trips done during the week as much as possible so that weekends can be free. We try our best to keep weekends relaxed, laid-back and calendar cleared. This is our typical Saturday "to-do" list:

1. Bike ride for Alan,
2. Long run for me
3. Adventure time for Alan and the girls
4. Alone time for Isaac and me (so that I can catch up on bills, paperwork, etc. while he naps)
5. Family dinner (ideally in the yard if the weather is nice, which it is about 350 days of the year here in Southern California)
6. Kids asleep by 7, movie on the couch and in bed by 9:30 for the adults

Last Saturday was good. We managed to get all that done and more. Alan spontaneously decided at 8:30am that he would take the girls to the California Science Center to see the Endeavor Space shuttle. I bought the tickets online, printed them out, threw some clothes on the girls, brushed their hair and teeth and they were off for the day by 9:00. Isaac was strapped into our gracious neighbor's Bob and ready for a good nap while I completed my 10-mile long run for the week. He obliged. Eyes were closed tight by the time we reached the bottom of our hill and I didn't hear a peep for the next 90 minutes. I ran in silence. Crisp, fall-morning, a handful of mountain bikers and hikers and nothing to do but run and glance down at my sleeping baby - bliss.

Back home and well-rested after our 10 miles.

I can't remember what I thought about while running. It was one of those beautiful long runs where you just enjoy the moment and let thoughts pass in and out, never ruminating over specific ones for any given length of time. The final two miles, though, I thought about lunch. Long runs especially make me hungry. Still nursing 5-6x/day on top of running 30-40 miles/week makes for one hungry mama. I considered taking Isaac out to brunch - just a quiet, relaxing date with my little boy. But he is in the crazy-messy eater stage where he goes straight to the tub after each meal, I was covered in dust, dirt and sweat and would have to shower before sitting down in public. And again.. I was hungry.

Dirty, tired and hungry. But happy!

We enjoyed a nice brunch at home instead. Just the two of us. Scrambled eggs, spinach and tortilla for me (non-vegan, I know, as I was craving eggs that Alan bought from the local farm stand this morning and so I ate eggs) and blended quinoa and veggie puree for the little man. I enjoyed the simplicity of eating in peace with Isaac. No bathroom breaks for the girls, no getting up ten times to fetch someone more water or food or silverware or... We just sat and ate until we were full, drank some warm pumpkin rooibos tea and listened to Tom Waits on the iPod. The music of Tom Waits is my quintessential Fall music. Low tones, deep throaty lyrics, these sing out dark, shorter days and quiet restful afternoons.

My cute Saturday date.

Lunch was followed by a nap, nap was followed by some errands. Fun errands though, the type where you buy your friend a birthday gift from Lululemon and peruse the aisles of Whole Foods for the perfect Saturday night family dinner. Then we were back home enjoying the late-afternoon on the couch with the sisters who returned happy and tired from their outing with daddy, while Alan got in his mountain time on the bike.

Our Saturday in a nutshell. Sunday is always a little busier as the girls attend weekly Sunday school and I teach in the older kids classroom there, but we still do our best to preserve that sacred Saturday-Sunday family time. How do you like to spend your weekends? Do you like to get out and be adventurous or hide away and relax?

A glimpse of our Sunday - cupcakes and friends. Not a bad way to end the week(end).