Tuesdays are my speed workout days. For whatever reason, they seemed to fit into my LA 1/2 Marathon Training schedule best on Tuesdays. The girls are off school on Tuesdays. Without local family or a steady babysitter, this means speed workouts are done with the triple. Three weeks ago I had an amazing 400m repeat session down on nearby flat streets. It was one of those days where I finished feeling like Superwoman or Supermom (although in all truth I do not believe such exists). I was on fire, fast, hit my target times, ran Cesia to sleep along the way and finished the cool-down home singing songs with Adara.
Last Tuesday was so very different. That is life. You never know just what is going to happen or how your kids are going to behave. Cesia woke up early and in some crazy raging mood. The refrigerator broke the night prior leaving us with rotten, warm food and a late night of internet searching for a new one. I was crabby, had a 3 hr school board meeting to co-lead that morning and thought, "What the heck, let's get the workout in now before school." So we did. Cesia whined and cried the entire time. The ENTIRE time. Running hard makes me angry. I'm not sure whether it's caused by raised testosterone levels during hard efforts or the pain I'm pushing through, but I know it makes me angry. Speed workout and labor both make me furious, until the pain subsides and endorphins kick in and I am floating on cloud nine. Seriously, I have never been so mean to my husband as I have during my first labor or my first race with him. I'm suffering and so I'm short, impatient. While running my heart out to cover the 6th 400m repeat in 90 seconds while pushing 140 lbs of weight AND Cesia is screaming that she wants to run back home to get her pink chapstick, I just about lost it. Luckily (for all involved), I was too out of breath and too exhausted to say or do much about it. STOP whining was shouted a few times, but that was about all I could muster. It was just one of those days. We got through it, but it wasn't pretty. 8x400 m repeats complete and on with our day.
When yesterday's training schedule called for 6x400 meter repeats at 5K pace, I was not exactly ready to launch myself right into the same misery. Alan was already en route to DC for the week so running at night was not an option. I called up a babysitter. For the first time ever, I was about to pay someone to watch my kids while I ran. I had never done that before. That was the reason I bought the triple stroller in the first place, to avoid such a necessity. Babysitter was busy. My brain racked itself begging for back-ups. I just wasn't feeling a triple stroller speed session. Cesia was up half the night practicing some form of torture on me, testing just how little sleep I could handle. She may have won but was not in the best of spirits herself due to sheer exhaustion.
I called up my 84 year old neighbor, Barb. She eagerly accepted the position to come watch one boy sleep in his bed (via baby monitor) and two girls play in the yard while Mama got out for a much needed break. With her cell phone in hand and mine cupped in my wrist, I dashed up to dirt Mulholland to complete 6x400 m fast. Though Barb is Isaac's best friend in the entire world and he would be thrilled to see her upon waking, she can't bend over to pick him up out of his crib. Thus, I ran repeat after repeat just 10 minutes from the house in case my phone rang and I had to end the workout early and sprint home. My phone never rang. I ran fast and free, returning home in just 45 minutes feeling renewed and excited to spend the afternoon with my kids. Sometimes that is all you need, a short jaunt, a little break to remind you how much you truly do love your life.
 |
| Loving this... |
 |
| And this... |
On my cool-down, I contemplated whether getting a babysitter (free, albeit, as Barb would never take our money) was giving up. Was running without the triple stroller taking the easy way out? Was I giving up? The words of my beloved prenatal yoga teacher, Lara Catone, (http://laracatone.com) came into my head, "Just as the waves of the ocean have an ebb and flow, a rush and a calm, so do contractions. Lose control, give in." Secede control. Sometimes that's what we need to do most of all. And so I that is what I did yesterday. I did not give up, rather I gave in.
What are some ways that you give in, rather than give up? I believe the difference is subtle yet distinct.
 |
| Giving into nature. Cesia, Flagstaff, Arizona. December 2013. |
No comments:
Post a Comment